Paying the price of racism
“Sometimes you just brace yourself and decide to cope with racist attitudes to get the medication, or the appliance, or to join your friends for a birthday dinner.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Author: Aroha Gilling
Fanning the flames of friendship at Matariki
“This year, I joined a predominantly Māori team, and I’ve never been so instantly embraced by a group of colleagues. Usually, I take a while to warm up and trust new people.” — Aroha Gilling.
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One Māori in the room isn’t enough
“Two Māori combined may just get their point across, but one Māori alone often goes unheard.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Holding fast to the memories that remain
“Brain injuries are invisible, so it was very difficult to explain the mumbled words, or the incorrect word for simple items and activities. Today people still laugh at me when I get a word wrong.” — Aroha Gilling.
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The home my mothers made
“I was adopted in the late 1960s by two Pākehā sisters. My first memories of home are anchored firmly in the memories of these shy women. They parented me from when I was three weeks old until they passed away within a few months of each other when I was in my mid-20s.” — Aroha Gilling.
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We’re the experts in our own stories
“It had been a long, moving and sometimes confusing day of storytelling, re-telling, and listening. For me, it reinforced the importance of iwi as experts in our own narratives.” — Aroha Gilling.
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A subtle silencing
“I’ve spent a lifetime being gracious and kind to careless, well-intentioned but hurtful, crass and outright racist people, and I’ve had enough.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Resisting battle fatigue
“I’m not from the kōhanga generation and I do struggle with feeling like I’m good enough, Māori enough, doing enough. But I’ve learned as I get older not to let those feelings be a barrier to action.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Let’s do better for Māori in civil service
“Revealing to my bosses how vulnerable I feel was out of the question. To say such things out loud creates a damaging cycle of anxiety, hope, vulnerability, and disappointment that most Māori in the public service are probably familiar with.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Whispers from the whenua
“The whenua knows our pain. Generations of loss, hurt and violence stain the soil. Broken promises and lost dreams lie scattered across the land like discarded weapons on a battlefield.” — Aroha Gilling.
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You can’t hide big and brown
“My story is one of absence, loss, and sometimes sadness. Still, I refuse to let it be a story of despair.” — Aroha Gilling.
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What it’s like receiving racist health care
“I’m an articulate person and able to advocate for myself, but even I struggle with this tsunami of racism that has threatened at times to wash me away.” — Aroha Gilling.
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We need to refill our kete
“Māori staff must be able to replenish our emptying kete. Any organisation that recognises this need, plans for it and supports it, is demonstrating long-term cultural integrity and sustainability.” — Aroha Gilling.
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Partnership means pulling up your socks
“You need to rise to the challenge, accept the discomfort, and not lurk around in the back row mumbling resentfully and looking at your boots.”— Aroha Gilling to local and central government staff who work with iwi.
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Everyday acts of resistance to colonisation
“I’ve been fortunate to contribute to big systemic change, but it’s the little acts, the personal struggles on a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute basis that I find both potent and fascinating.” — Aroha Gilling.
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‘An ill-fitting kākahu’: Being Māori and working for the Crown
“I remain in the public service, often as the only counter-narrative, and the only Māori voice, in innumerable projects and meetings.” — Aroha Gilling.
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